Contiuned Mercies

Ps 46:1-2 God is our refuge and strength,a very present help in trouble.Therefore we will not fear

Last week was certainly a harder. Micah hasn't eaten in over a week, sleep is almost ever upon him. Fevers are nearly constant. There are pockets of awake time and we love to hear him chat even though it is rare. He continues to remain comfortable and the pain seems minimal. The meds are so helpful. Days and weeks are hard to plan. We are so thankful for the extended time with Micah as it has given us many special memories and helped our hearts greatly to process, grieve and seek the Lord. We are experiencing new grace and mercies each day!~

Luke was asking me what some of my fav memories have been over the last few weeks, here are some of them for both of us~

~Midnight/ All Night parties with Micah

~Working on the little garden (it's become a special little place to us)

~Holding little man

~Sleep outs in our room and downstairs

~Quiet walks with just the two of us

~Those moments when God has met us and made us more aware of his nearness, compassion, and comfort.

The times have been precious. We are still praying for a miracle but our hope is in Jesus, his saving work on the cross for our sins and the knowledge that we will spend eternity with our baby. I can't even begin to imagine the absence we might feel. Oh how we would miss those cheerful cheeks he still shows us when he points to his cheeks and gives us his wonderful crooked smile! Some days mommy asks him if I can borrow them to this he nods his head yes =) How thankful we are for the days even though they can be long and weary...we are knowing peace, strength and mercies anew. We are fighting for our heart's peace, it is a hard work and at times we don't feel like fighting, and then it good just to pour out our heart before the Lord~ He is the lighter of our souls. And how wonderful having one another, friends, family our church is so important to spur us on to continue to lift us up and to speak words of encouragement and all the prayers! We wouldn't want to go this road alone. Thanks so much! And particularly thanks to the Lees, Sheffers, Campbells, EauClaries, Nancy, our CareGroup, our fam, your words, tears, nearness, counsel, have had an unmeasured impact on us.

For your continued prayers we are ever so grateful.

Specific Prayer

Prayer Request

*Complete dependence on God with Micah

*To be a refuge of love and comfort for each other

* Still praying and hoping for a miracle

* -- That if prolonging Micah's life is not God's plan for our little guy that he would experience no pain, his breathing would be easy, fever would come down, and his passing be quick and easy

*Peace for our hearts, that we would not be anxious
*For our Braeton
*Our extended family, what a hard trial to walk through as they are seeking to help us and deal with their own sorrow and questions. That the Lord would be near to each of them. They would experience peace and comfort like never before

Our lil Project

A little before photo ( wish I had taken more but forgot to)

Inside looking out---- then out front with the kids. Works Starting!

What a fun project this has been and I think everyone has had a hand in it!. Brandon and Nick dug up the front yard, Dad, Paw, & Brandon ran for supplies, Rick ran electric, Luke made pathways, Cameron & Brandon put the rocks in, I know I'm forgetting someone, Mom and Maw contribute the hanging basket, Braet painted me a rock, while we tried to keep CC from eating them! And then the big surprise..... a Mickey Fountain! It is wonderful! We have never used our front yard so much. The kids love sitting on the bench and playing in the water. What a special little place! Now there are just a few finishing touches left and stepping stones to make together!!

“The Hope”

Morning- Spurgeons Morning and Evening, Oct 2

“The hope which is laid up for you in heaven.”

Colossians 1:5

Our hope in Christ for the future is the mainspring and the mainstay of our joy here. It will animate our hearts to think often of heaven, for all that we can desire is promised there. Here we are weary and toilworn, but yonder is the land of rest where the sweat of labour shall no more bedew the worker’s brow, and fatigue shall be for ever banished. To those who are weary and spent, the word “rest” is full of heaven. We are always in the field of battle; we are so tempted within, and so molested by foes without, that we have little or no peace; but in heaven we shall enjoy the victory, when the banner shall be waved aloft in triumph, and the sword shall be sheathed, and we shall hear our Captain say, “Well done, good and faithful servant.” We have suffered bereavement after bereavement, but we are going to the land of the immortal where graves are unknown things. Here sin is a constant grief to us, but there we shall be perfectly holy, for there shall by no means enter into that kingdom anything which defileth. Hemlock springs not up in the furrows of celestial fields. Oh! is it not joy, that you are not to be in banishment for ever, that you are not to dwell eternally in this wilderness, but shall soon inherit Canaan? Nevertheless let it never be said of us, that we are dreaming about the future and forgetting the present, let the future sanctify the present to highest uses. Through the Spirit of God the hope of heaven is the most potent force for the product of virtue; it is a fountain of joyous effort, it is the corner stone of cheerful holiness. The man who has this hope in him goes about his work with vigour, for the joy of the Lord is his strength. He fights against temptation with ardour, for the hope of the next world repels the fiery darts of the adversary. He can labour without present reward, for he looks for a reward in the world to come.

~Brittney, Thanks for sharing this with us.

Happy Fathers Day

Pic Above is from May 2006





Happy Father's Day, my Love!

You are a truly a great man! For those of you who know my Luke, you have observed his tender care for his family. It takes only a few moments to realize Luke's just a big kid himself and there are few things he loves as much as romping with his kiddos.

Baby, there are many examples of your care for each of us... like Slurpee dates and mid-night bottle feeds, the list could be very long but one of my favorite memories is those many nights at the hospital, where you'd climb up in Micah's metal crib to cuddle him and bring comfort. The nurses were smitten with both of you and for good reason! You, have cared for us well! But in this last year and half I must say you have excelled. We are a stronger family because of your leadership. Your love for each of us has shone brighter through your care and the way you continually and joyfully serve us. We love you so!! Thanks Baby!

Psalm 62:1-8 For God alone my soul waits in silence;from him comes my salvation. 2 He only is my rock and my salvation,fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.5 For God alone, O my soul, wait in silence,for my hope is from him.6 He only is my rock and my salvation,my fortress; I shall not be shaken. 7 On God rests my salvation and my glory;mighty rock, my refuge is God. 8 Trust in him at all times, O people;pour out your heart before him;God is a refuge for us.
Update on Mikes:
Our little man is has been peaceful and comfy. Lately he has started to run fevers, he also has thrush in his mouth so he isn't eating. Thankfully he is drinking chocolate milk so I've been able to add protein powder to that. He is even wanting us to hold him which has been wonderful, especially since he wasn't really wanting to be held. We love just sitting and holding our baby. We've also been reading and singing to him (a few weeks ago he wasn't really wanting that either). Each day is different, yet there is peace even in our sadness. Thanks for praying for us. Shall we ever know the depth of what your prayer have wrought?! Someday we shall!

Joy in the Journey

Tonight was one such night of Joy in this journey. I wish I could remember every moment and relish it deeply again and again. Tonight Bob (one of our pastors) & Julie Kauflin, Brittney and McKenzie came to our home~ bringing gifts, balloons, bubbles and a beautiful pictogram that Brit made (she's a wonderful photographer and of course I cried seeing this thoughtful gift!) and that was just the beginning~ we visited and then prayer, worship, encouragement, more prayer more encouragement.... Bob led our family in songs of praise:
My Hope is Built on Nothing Less,
It is Well with My Soul,
He's Always Been Faithful
God Moves
reminding us of God's faithfulness, strength, help, hope... it was a wonderfully encouraging time for our hearts. And then at just the right moment Mikes sat up clapped his hands and said Yeah! What a time of refreshing!

How kind of the Lord to provide this time for us in the midst of such sadness and struggle. Our hearts our full. We have been greatly helped this night as we have many other nights through many different people and many different means. Our fam, friends, this church! Thanks be to God for his Church, how we love its local expression! We are being cared for so marvelously here. And then the church at large..the prayer, the help, the strength. Oh how grateful we are, we have been so greatly helped. Thanks for walking this journey with us. Much Love

"The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; Great is you Faithfulness...The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him" Lamentations 3:22-23, 25

Each Day a Gift

Our Baby






Thanks for your prayers the days have been hard, yet we are loving on our boy and so enjoy the special moments together. Micah continues to sleep longer, his drinking is slowing down a little which is a good thing. He is not seeing well and rarely gets down off the couch. He has been pretty pleasant and calls for each one in the fam, just likes to know we are all near. Last week Braet had the opportunity to go to a friends but said, "No, Micah might call for me." And he was right, Micah did call for his Braet, Braet. Braet is kind brother and comes to sit by him or tell Mikes, "Braet, Braet is here."
The waiting and watching Mikes go down is a hard thing. However I was so thankful for Pete Greasley's email to us, reminding me that God is with Micah, giving him grace and comfort, which is very evident by his cheerful and meek heart. Whenever I take our little man a cup of water he responds with his "sweet" voice , "Thanks Momma!" It is such an honor to be home with our little man and serve him in these small ways. He is still eating small amounts of chicken nuggets and cheese pizza. Of course drinking water, rootbeer and chocolate milk.
Luke and I are being refreshed and drawing strength from all the prayers, our times alone in scripture, good books (we are currently reading From Grief to Glory ), prayer, your encouragements, our fam, friends, pastors and each other.

So appreciate your prayers, your standing with us~

Psalms 142
142:1 With my voice I cry out to the Lord; with my voice I plead for mercy to the Lord...I tell my trouble before him...3 When my spirit faints within me,you know my way!...5 I cry to you, O Lord; I say, “You are my refuge,my portion in the land of the living.”6 Attend to my cry,for I am brought very low!Help me..that I may give thanks to your name!

Weekend

In the midst of sadness there is also laughter and fun... This weekend the guys got to play volleyball in the back yard, Mom & Mom made me a wonderful flower basket for the deck (it is so cheerful), we hung out with the fam, visited with friends, the kiddos had great fun with the sparklers (thanks Chris) and mom even made me a hair appt from home. I loved that and Braet thought it was too cool to see me with foil in my hair (I was having highlights done). He thought I looked like Princess Amadala from Star Wars!

Encouragment

A response to share... This is an email we received from one of my favorite speakers, how helpful and encouraging. He is a pastor at a sister Sovereign Grace church in Wales. His message on "The Ministry of Comfort" (click the link to listen to this message) has helped us greatly dunning this time. Peter's words never cease to comfort, encourage, remind, strengthen and challenge our hearts, may they do the same for you~
~~~~~~~~~
Dear Luke and Kriscinda,I’ve just read your update on care pages (I’ve been following them all and praying for you continually) and felt that this would be a good time to write; although I must admit I’m struggling with what I can say that can help you in this present distress. I really wanted you to know that although we are many miles away, I am carrying you all in my heart and prayers.Unless our Father does a remarkable miracle, which I’ve seen happen, then it looks as though your little man may be off on a wonderful journey very soon. I’ve never experienced the loss of a child, so I cannot even begin to comprehend what you may be going through; but I have cared for both my parents and a few good friends through their final months, weeks and hours... and although what you are experiencing is far greater than that, the temptations we face and the truths we cling to are the same. If God should do that miracle, then the following words are not needed; but should that not happen, then I just wanted to share some thoughts that I truly hope are a help and not an addition to your burden.I remember when my Father was dying of a brain tumor. I had been doing well through it all and was experiencing much grace, but every now and then was overwhelmed with both the trauma of watching him suffer and the challenge of unbelief that at moments would almost rob me of my faith and peace. As you watch Micah, I’m aware you are deeply concerned that he doesn’t suffer; that’s only natural, especially for a parent. But as you look at your little man, you must remember that he will be experiencing a measure of grace that is both different to yours and in some ways, greater. You need have no fear that he will be overwhelmed by any trauma, for whatever our Father may take with one hand, He gives far more with the other. When we suffer with someone, our sufferings are often in excess of theirs, because we’re not receiving what they are from the Lord. This is true; and I trust you can encourage yourselves with this; your little boy will not be forsaken in his greatest hours of need, but saturated in grace from the Father of Lights. Our Savior was forsaken by His Father on the cross so that Micah may not be.There have been a few times in my life where certain situations have caused me to ask the question “is this all real or am I just trying to convince myself that there is a good God who works all things for my good and His glory?” At one of these times I remember standing outside in my garden grappling with this temptation. As I looked up I saw the stars, and the constellation Orion was directly above me. I remembered at that moment God’s question to Job whilst he was going though unimaginable trials: “Can you undo Orion’s belt?”What a comfort it was to know that the God who created the stars was the one who used those very stars to remind Job, and me, that although I can’t begin to fathom ‘why’, there is a glorious, kind, compassionate, caring God behind everything that takes place in my life and in the life of those I love. If what I believed was not true, then nothing is true; if there is no good God, then nothing has any meaning at all. My existence is just an accident, my love for my children just a chemical reaction designed to perpetrate the species...though with no purpose; my joys, loves, fears and hopes all an irrelevant waste of time. If God is not who He says He is, then Micah’s passing away, should that happen soon, ultimately is also another meaningless occurrence in an empty cosmos, which would make your grief meaningless too. But, if God is who He says He is, if His Word is true, as we believe it is, then we can truly know, without doubt, that what happens to us and those we love will really, truly be for our ultimate good. These are hard words to write to you with all that you’re experiencing; they must be even harder to read, but it’s truth that will hold you though this time...and his Word is the only real truth in the universe. Romans 8:28 is either the truth or it’s a lie...there can be no other option. It is the truth. For the moment, you embrace this truth by faith...and you are doing that so wonderfully. I sense both God’s compassion for you and pleasure in you. But know this, a day will come when we will no longer believe because of faith, but we will know because of sight... ‘we will know even as we have been known’. On that day, which may seem a long way off, but in reality will be upon us in the blink of an eye, we will look back through all He has done in our lives and say “You have done all things well”, and then you will have the whole of eternity to enjoy your little man.I trust these words may strengthen your soul, but there are no words that I can say that will remove the grief that you will go through if Micah is to go to be with the Lord. It will come in waves, but you will be carried through the waves. You will continue to have my heartfelt prayer and love...may God bless you; especially Micah.With deep affection,Pete Greasley

Little Man

hey there
Luke & I are desperately saddened by what we observe but wanting to write and petition your prayers, for our hearts, our fam and of course Micah. We wrote the other day that Micah had been sleeping more~ that has only increased. He is rarely waking up now. We so enjoyed those all night parties and seeing him dance around the room, doing his belly dance! His right eye is completely closed much of the time and morphine is round the clock. God has been near in our cries- long nights and long days, bringing comfort and even praise from our lips. We are still pleading for healing, yet seeking to trust in God no matter what the road. Tears come quickly as we watch Micah sleep. We are missing our little boy.

Thanks for your love and prayers!

Psalm 33:20
Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield.

Prayer Request

*Complete dependence on God with Micah

*To be a refuge of love and comfort for each other

* Still praying and hoping for a miracle

* -- That if prolonging Micah's life is not God's plan for our little guy that he would experience no pain, his breathing would be easy and his passing be quick and easy

*Peace for our hearts, that we would not be anxious

*For our Braeton

Enjoying the Days

Still enjoying the days. Not much has changed since our last post. Micah is still sleeping lots and having small burst of energy. Although I think was his getting his day and night a little mixed for a few days. Sat & Sun night he was up a good portion of the night, party 12 am, 2 am, 3am, 4am =) Luke and I woke up to, "Hi Momma, Hi Dadda!" Mikes was standing up in his pack & play (Totally converted pack & Play I might add, we cut the entire side out so that we could hold his hand while he goes to sleep, something he loves) which is beside our bed, it was very apparent he wasn't ready for sleep. He likes to play the drums so he played them on us for a little while- boom, tat, boom, boom, tat. Snuggled in our bed for a while, then back to his to watch Cars at 2 am. =)
Yesterday and today his is sleeping a bit more. He seems like he has needed more of his meds (we had been able to cut back quite a bit) to control his vomiting and headaches.
Please pray for us during this season of "waiting." It can be hard to know how to care for Micah and the other kids. We put everything on hold a few weeks ago, wondering if we'd enjoy another day and now he seems much better than 2 weeks ago. Thanks for your prayers! He walks around and plays a little and is eating okay. His nausea meds are keeping his vomiting to a minimum. We have pretty much been at home except for the occasional trip to get Happy Meals or pizza. Micah isn't wanting to go for walks or rides in the car like he used to but recently we have enjoyed coloring again together.
Luke is starting to do some work from home again and Braet's getting to visit with some friends more. We are learning to try and be strategic and purposeful with our time as we care for our kiddos and each other.
Thanks again for your care for us. The meals have been so helpful and tasty.

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things and a good thing never dies."

Ps 40:1-3
40:1 I waited patiently for the Lord;
he inclined to me and heard my cry.
2 He drew me up from the pit of destruction,
out of the miry bog,
and set my feet upon a rock,
making my steps secure.
3 He put a new song in my mouth,
a song of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear,
and put their trust in the Lord.

Wait for the Lord

Thanks for all your prayers, we so appreciate them! Little man is doing pretty well. He continues to amaze us. While he is sleeps considerably he also has small bursts of energy where he gets down and runs around, shows us his belly and again hits the baseball. We can't believe he can walk let alone run (a week ago he couldn't walk without help)! He has cuddled with Luke & I, given loads of high fives and every once in a while one can steal a kiss. We are so thankful he's comfortable. Maybe we are watching a miracle or possibly a peaceful passing to eternity... either way we are seeking to trust the Lord~ either way we are thrilled for the smiles, the special times together and are so pleased he is comfortable.

It's hard to know what to say...we are waiting, watching, snuggling, praying and waiting more. Yesterday was two weeks... Micah is not quite following protocol, he never has and I'm sure he never will =) We are thankful for that. We feel many of our prayers and yours prayers for mercy and comfort are being answered. Thanks. There is no way to communicate how overwhelmed we are by the continual care and support we are receiving. It is not normal. You all are carrying our burden with us, helping to make it lighter~ weeping with those who weep and one day may we rejoice together, if not here I'm sure in Heaven.

These present sufferings are hard (to say the least). They are things we don't understand, we want to understand, to know why... we have at times felt sad, angry, helpless, distraught ~ all of these responses are real and right granted there comes a time to turn as the Psalmist did and hope and trust in God. Though we don't see and we don't understand, we know God's love for us is real, we know He works all things together for good- though we may not see all if it now. We hold on to what we know to be true. The Lord is faithful and the generations speak of it. His peace and comfort is with us. His promises resonate in our hearts. If our little man leaves this earth he will be with the Saviour, scripture assures us of this. And thanks be to God for the cross. Because Jesus, whom we believe in and live for, died for our sins...we will be together again. Oh for Heaven and Home!

Specific Prayer
* Still praying and hoping for a miracle
* -- That if prolonging Micah's life is not God's plan for our little guy that he would experience no pain, his breathing would be easy and his passing be quick and easy
*Peace for our hearts, that we would not be anxious and our sleep would be peaceful
*For our Braeton
*Our family & friends. This is intensely painful, we are so thankful for our friends & fam- the support you have been. Please pray for comfort and peace for them as well. That we would know God's nearness more than ever before.

Great Updates:
*My troubled dreams have ceased
*Mikes has been eating much better, mainly Cheese Pizza and Chicken Nugget Happy Meals w/ BBQ =) We have been to Mc Donalds like 6-8 times this week! But we are loving seeing him eat!
*Possibility of Seizures - we have since spoke with the doctors and our wonderful Hospice nurse, they are not concerned that Micah will have a seizure but rather think that the shakyness is due to muscle weakness.

All our Love!

Psalm 33:20-22
Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. For our heart is glad in him, because we trust in his holy name. Let your steadfast love, O Lord, be upon us, even as we hope in you.

Last Soccer Practice

Wednesday was Braet's last soccer practice. He is sure sorry that it is over for the summer. We never anitcipated him enjoying it this much! So for the last day, Maw, G, Cianne and Luke and I went out to watch him play and recieve his first medal. He was so excited and has been showing it to all of us.